| it's been a little while since i wrote a public entry in here, but going to france inspired me, even though most of what i have to say is not about france. the only thing i have to say about france is that the cathedrals BLEW me away COMPLETELY. they are so beautiful, you have to see them to understand, no one reads this anymore but if you are and you haven't seen them, you must. before my trip i was all na na cathedrals are lame i am not religious i dont care but i wanted to sit in some of them for hours and look at everything and they were so austere yet ornate and simply stunning. also the cheese was fantabulous; you know how i feel about cheese. or if you don't, i love cheese awful lots.
the other thing that i have to say is that i need to find a cure for my skepticism that is getting out of control because there is a small part of me that doesn't believe that anything that i disagree with has validity or truth. worse, there is a smaller part of me that doesn't believe that anyone actually believes any ideas that are radically different than the ones i believe. and worse still, i don't believe that anyone actually believes things that they say they believe in, people just like to cause a ruckus. maybe it's because i feel so passionate about certain things but sometimes i am afraid that i am faking the passion and really i am just wanting an argument. this is really me being extremely closeminded which is something i really cannot allow myself to be so i am searching for the antidote. let me know if you have any ideas.
something else i have to say is that one hundred years of solitude has changed my life and the way i look at humanity. i have so much more to say about it but really i can't because i have never read anything that has so deeply affected me in so many ways. the more i think about marquez the more i marvel at him and his writing and i cannot wait to read other things by him. one hundred years of solitude has made me reconsider so many things that i took for granted, and i hope that one day i can do two things: first, read marquez in spanish and second, be a quarter as eloquent and beautiful of a writer as he is.
i am not a religious soul but i had a moment of non religious spiritual meditation while sitting the the bayeux cathedral reading the last chapter of one hundred years of solitude. never have two of my senses been stimulated so profoundly and so simultaneously. i guess my mind is not a sense, but my eyes could not believe what i was seeing and my mind could not believe what i was reading and the end of the book was a monumental event in my life and sitting there was so amazing and i really genuinely had a moment (or several moments) where i was considering everything in my life in a completely new way and i was completely at peace and inspired and i have never felt that way before.
it was definitely a pleasant experience but it was so completely detached from good and bad that i can't really say that but of course i could not be gladder i went through it. i also have established that i miss the person that i used to be and there was a while where i wasn't neccessarily the happiest person but i was exactly who i wanted to be and that is so great and now i am not that person anymore though i'd like to be. i don't know what happened that made me change. actually, i have a little bit of an idea but i'd like to take what's good about my life now and make my person back to how i was when, in retrospect, i was as good of a person as i can be.
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| i hate the sinking feeling i get in my stomach when i wikipedia something and there aren't any results.
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| and not do all the work the night before. i have been sort of in a funk these past few days, but i think i'll be out of it soon. spirit day is friday, that will be fun, i don't know what i'm going to do but it will be fun. my id photo sucks. today i was oddly nostalgic. i wish i had owned a camera in 7th grade. i'm considering making an album of 8th grade pictures but i think it'll be better if i hold on to them until i'm like, a senior, and it will have been so long ago and we can all laugh a lot.
not much to say?
i saw raufi!!! on the f!! that was great. i don't really have time for anything, so back to work.
carrot rope vs. soul coughing? i was wondering, but i have now watched a half hour of soul coughing videos and i know my answer.
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| i have had near brushes with death twice in the very same manner in the past month-- first, i was jogging in prospect park on my way to soccer practice and a limb about as thick as my torso falls down from a tree about 6 feet behind me (thank goodness i was jogging) and then, today, i was walking down my block, and the same event occurred except it was a limb from a ginko tree.
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| so sunday i played soccer against ll cool j's daughter, no joke, and he was at the game and that was pretty cool. today i played some football with my boys and proved myself worthy of manhood, and that was pretty cool too, and today in school sucked with my general unpreparedness even though i actually was prepared i just had nothing to show for it but i talked to my sister on the phone just now and id been missing her and tomorrow is no school!
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